The Menage A Trois Review: Tomb Raider / Bioshock Infinite / WWE 13

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Yes I know I’ve been slacking on reviews for the site, but I’m not sorry! The People’s Reviewer has been up to his ass in some quality gaming, making it very tough to tear himself away from said quality games and write a review. Necessity being the mother of invention and all, Pixel Apocalypse now gives birth to the Menage A Trois review! A form of video game review so daring and magnificent in scope, that only top men in the field have the sack to attempt it…top men.

Here is the skinny…

I play three games. I write a brief review of each. I publish that shit.

GENIUS…and away we go!

TombRaiderReview

Tomb Raider

Release Date: March 5th, 2013
Developer: Crystal Dynamics
Publisher: Square Enix
Review Platform: PC

Crystal Dynamics swung for the fences with their reboot of the Tomb Raider franchise. While I wouldn’t say that they put this over the left field wall, it was a stand up triple in anyone’s league. Stunning visuals (as long as you are not rocking a Nvidia card), a great cast of characters, intriguing story, and most importantly a Lara Croft we can care about again, are all woven together to create one hell of a game. The only misstep in my opinion was the heavy focus on the somewhat mediocre 3rd person shooter combat over other aspects of gameplay. I don’t know…like raiding tombs or something crazy like that. Yes I know the game had tombs, but they took too much of a back seat to the shooting of mindless AI.

Small gripes, that pale in comparison to the enjoyment of playing a Tomb Raider game that is actually good again. Way to go Crystal Dynamics, you have successfully rebooted a franchise without ballsing it up. Not many can make that claim!

TombRaider-4outof5

BioshockInfiniteReview

Bioshock Infinite

Release Date: March 26th, 2013
Developer: Irrational Games
Publisher: 2K
Review Platform: PC

Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah, and mother fucking whhhhoooooaaaaaahhhhhhh! It’s only April, what the hell are you doing Irrational Games? You can’t release 2013′s game of the year this early. Now everything else we play post Bioshock Infinite is going to be a giant let down because it will not possibly be anywhere as good as Bioshock Infinite. While some of you are winding up your troll bats at this very moment, I stand by my statement. Bioshock Infinite is just that damn good.

Not for the middle of the road shooter mechanics mind you, but for the way Ken Levine and company craft a tale so intriguing that it is near impossible to put down. Then they take that magnificent story and litter it with characters that are far and away some of the most compelling we’ve seen in a video game to date. Finally, set your story and characters in possibly the most fantastic and unique environments, and you have Bisohock Infinite.

The quantity of the over the top violence from the outset, does cause a bit of a disconnect. It is the only real fault I could find with the game to be honest. Bioshock Infinite will hurl far to many enemies at you in quick succession for little or no reason other than to keep your attention. As far as faults go, it is a minor one.

So unless a game releases this year that is better than Jesus Christ himself. Bioshock Infinite has got it in the bag!

BioshockInfinite-5outof5

WWE13Review

WWE 13

Release Date: October 30th, 2012
Developer: Yukes
Publisher: THQ
Review Platform: Playstation 3

So WWE 13 isn’t quite the newest of the new releases, but it is what I have been playing lately…so bite me! Yukes made a good call with WWE 13, which was to focus most of their efforts around the games Attitude Era mode, and it’s multiplayer. Let’s face it, no one outside of a pre-pubescent wants to play through a John Cena storyline. Or any of the other so called WWE superstars on the roster right now for that matter. Although, I wouldn’t mind getting up and walking away from my controller if the game didn’t say my name right.

IT’S FFFFAAAAANNNNNNN…..DDDAAAAANNNNNNNNN…..GGGGGOOOOOOOOO!

Seriously though, a lot of my interest in WWE 13 went out the window on completing the Attitude Era storyline. Which was good because while in the beginning the action in the ring felt pretty dynamic and fresh. Unfortunatly, as I went through match after match the shit started to feel as contrived and dated as the storylines the current writers at WWE are shoveling out. The multiplayer and create a character will absolutely keep things lively for a bit, but only if you are into that sort of thing. WWE 13 is not a bad game by any stretch, but it felt like it needed a bit more time in the oven. Personally I can’t wait to see what a next-gen WWE title published by 2K looks like. It might actually be the wrestling game we are looking for!

WWE13-3outof5

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